October 10, 1976
Published in Sant Bani Magazine, January 1977
Sant Ajaib Singh talks with disciples after morning meditation. This session was just after the morning meditation session with Sant Ji on October 10, 1976 – the first meditation the October group had with Him.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: The main thing is that we should forget where we are sitting. As long as we think of our body our attention goes to our body, but when we forget about our body then our attention goes towards the Light and sees the Light. Light is at that place and peace is also at that place, but after getting some peace or seeing some Light we start thinking about our pain in our body and then we don’t see the Light. So we should not think of the pain in our body.
Question: The Light moves, it moves.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: The Light is not moving. Only your concentration and your mind is moving. So you have to control your mind. Light is not moving, but we feel as though the Light is moving because our mind is moving.
Question: I feel like I made a mess of the whole thing. I was doing it like I do an exercise in schoolwork but not for meditation. I was just doing it with my mind and only once did I feel like I really saw Light. And immediately I thought of You – that You were making me see the Light. And then I felt ashamed and I felt it was ironic that You were doing it and just all kinds of thoughts. And the Simran was messed up. I felt ashamed.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: When you saw the Light, why did you stop seeing the Light? Why did you leave the Light? Don’t you like the Light?
Question: I like the Light.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: You are allowed to sit here only so that you can see the Light. When you start seeing that you should try to see it continuously; why leave it?
Question: I don’t understand.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: You are allowed to sit here. You are sitting here for seeing Light and when you see the Light, then why do you give up seeing that? Yesterday also I advised you that you have traveled a lot and come here. As you have brought your body here, you should also bring your mind here. Only then will you progress. You can’t do any work back home or anything like that while you are living here. So don’t worry about America and don’t worry about your work.
If you can do anything in America by thinking, while sitting here, then you are most welcome to do that. But you can’t do that. So as long as you are here you should do meditation. And we have told everybody that you should be given much time and no disturbance so that you can do meditation. So long as you are here you should take the most benefit from this place and do meditations.
Personally also I feel that it is essential for a Satsangi to do Bhajan and Simran. No child is born without pain. For doing any worldly things we have to suffer pain. So in the same way you have to do meditation, and I am not talking about anything other than meditation. So you have to do meditation. I always ring the bell at three o’clock sharp. You can see on the watch, it is never late or never early. And I wake up at least two hours before. And I never drink tea before sitting. And after that I never again sleep. And you people wake up at three o’clock and sit for two or three hours and then again try to sleep.
COMMENT: We are not very good disciples.
SANT JI: No. You are here to be perfect disciples. You try to do that. I appreciate that you have traveled a lot and come here. And I also feel in my heart that as long as you are here you should be benefited and you should progress. Because some of you have left your children back home, some of you have left your wives; and you came here for what purpose? Only for peace. And secondly you will not get such an atmosphere like this in other places, because this is not a city in which you can do sight-seeing or shopping. You are not to worry about anything – only meditation. And you will not get such an opportunity again that any fakir or any sadhu will say to you – “Come on, do it with me.”
In the world people don’t do for their own self, but they teach others; they say: “You do,” but they are not doing. But here you see – first we do and then we demonstrate; then we say for you to do.
Question: I have developed a very, very poor method of meditation, very inaccurate, very sloppy meditations and sitting with You here – if we could do it as often as possible it would be very, very, very helpful for all of us.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: Definitely you will get help. Then after going back to Sant Bani Ashram you also sit and give advice to other people to sit. Because this is the advice only for sitting for meditation. When you sit with support you are thinking that you are doing meditation and you have done two hours, but most of the time you are sleeping. So try to sit without any support so when you feel sleepy you will fall down and you will know, “I was sleeping.”
Question: What to do with severe pain in the legs and the knees?
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: You have the pain whenever you sit, or you have it always?
Question: When I cross my legs only.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: You do it gradually. Just sit for fifteen minutes today, then half an hour, like that. Don’t give more time only on one day – do it gradually. Sit cross-legged only for short times.
Question: Then the rest I can sit differently or on chairs?
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: Yes. And sometimes massage here. You can sit on a chair, but you develop this type of sitting also.
Question: I have had these problems for about five years now. It has been a big problem.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: That will go away if you will gradually develop it.
Question: I haven’t been meditating as much since I had the baby and now you explain that it is best to sit without back support. I have told myself that I should first start meditating more and then become accustomed to not sitting with back support. Would it be best to just begin meditating more without back support? Or should I do what I said the first thing.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: If you can control your sleep. If you are not feeling sleepy when you are sitting with back support, then you can sit in that way. Sitting without support is only to control your sleep. This type of sitting is only to control sleep. If you can control sleep then there is no harm in sitting in a chair or with any back support. And while you are sitting in a chair don’t move any part of your body. Be still when you sit on a chair. And if you will move then whatever you see within will go away and you will be confused.
And for the ladies, we have to attend the worldly responsibilities, our babies and like that. But in doing Simran we don’t have to sit. We can do that while we are working, while we are walking and even while we are talking. So we should develop that practice also – repeating the Names.
Question: Does this mean that when we do sit for meditation we should do more Bhajan – practice more Bhajan – because we have done more Simran while we have been doing our responsibilities?
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: You can’t do more Simran and you can’t tell that you have done more Simran. The people who do more Simran – Simran is going on automatically within them. And only because of Simran can you take your soul upwards to the seat of the soul that is behind the two eyebrows. And you can’t say that you have done more Simran. So while you sit for meditation you are not to sit more for Bhajan but also for Simran, seeing Light.
And you people forget Simran sometimes for many hours, sometimes for many days, unless you meet some Satsangi or you go to any Satsang, you don’t remember the Simran, or unless you sit for meditation. And even when you sit for meditation the mind brings so many other thoughts and you forget Simran then also.
I give you this advice only because if you will do Simran while you are doing any other work, when you sit for meditation you won’t have to sit for a long time repeating the Names to bring your attention to the seat of the soul. As soon as you sit for meditation, within a few minutes you will go up. In the ancient times, Saints gave only the Simran to the true seeker. And when he completed the course of Simran, then only, they gave the Sound Current. But many incidents happened that before the disciple could complete the course of Simran, either the disciple left the body or the Master left the body. So Simran is only to vacate the nine openings and to bring the soul to the seat of the soul and after that it is the work of Sound Current to pull your soul. In Kali Yuga or the Iron Age, Guru Nanak and Swami Ji Maharaj and many other Saints started giving full initiation, that is for seeing Light and hearing the Sound.
But we are not doing Simran and are always thinking about the worldly things while we are traveling or doing any new thing.
And now you can think of your own self whether everything I am saying is true or not. The Satsangi who has completed the course of Simran – he has not to sit for a long time – as soon as he will sit he will be up. He will have no problems, no complaints. His problem is solved.
Question: It’s hard to believe that this might really happen.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: What do we do? Master Sawan Singh used to say that it is a Punjabi proverb that we ask for the cart and we ask for the luggage and moreover we ask for the luggage to be put on the cart – we are not ready to do anything. We want everything ready-made. So in the same way what do we people do? After getting initiation we always say to Saints that we should not do Simran; we should not suffer the pain; but you should give us all things ready-made.
When Saints come and hold classes and teach you and say to sit like this, you will obey them and you will sit; but when they say to control your mind, you will not do that and you will allow your mind to go and wander wherever it wants.
The main thing is that you should control your thoughts. You should not let your mind think anything else while sitting in meditation. While sitting in meditation if you are going to think any evil thoughts it is as if you are abusing your Master, you are insulting your Master. It is the same as if you are doing any wrong deed in front of your father or elderly people.
Question: I don’t think I have ever, maybe only about four or five times since I have been initiated, had successful meditations because I have always given in to lust and I have always given in to anger and pride and I haven’t put in much time. And I have done many things to insult my Master. And since I have been here I have done many things to insult Him too, and even hearing You say it, I know it is true, but my heart is like a stone. I’d almost rather he dead than be like this. But I can say that and even now I should just he crying to say something like this to a Saint because it’s such a horrible thing to admit. How can I be such a heartless person?
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: Gradually you have to leave the pride which you have in your mind and completely surrender yourself to Master. For what thing are you having pride – for your health or for your young age? If you have pride for your health you can see any man suffering and if you have fever for two days, then you will no longer have very good health. And if you are having pride that you are wealthy, then you can see the poor man. Nothing will go with us. Then why should we have pride of all these things? So the disciple’s mind should always be humble in this world.
Daily I am saying to you that you are the fortunate ones and the blessed souls that you have been given the opportunity to do seva and to run the Ashram and only through seva can you make your mind low and can you humble your mind.
Question: I know that if it wasn’t for Master’s grace and if it wasn’t that I was able to live at the Ashram I would long ago have gone – just ruined my life – just thrown it away. All my life, it’s been like I’ve been trying to throw my life down the drain and even at the Ashram I once realized – once in a low moment I decided I wanted to run away and get drunk and I realized that I didn’t know anyone now that drinks. And I laughed to think that Master has put me in a very special kind of prison where I can be made into a good man and I am grateful for that.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: If anytime you have any bad thoughts which arise in your mind then you scold your mind a hundred times and never let that thought come again into your mind. If we have thoughts – if we think of doing any wrong deeds of drinking or eating, it is the same as if we are doing the deed. Better than that is if you always think of your Satguru and if you always think of the Radiant Form of your Satguru and always think that maybe sometime Satguru will call us and maybe sometimes we will see the Beloveds of Satguru who will again tell us to meditate and in that way you can develop your Simran and that will be very good for your meditations.
Not everybody in this world is fortunate to get initiation and not everyone in this world is fortunate to get seva. When you are doing seva you are getting something from the meditation of the people who are served by you and most of your sins go to the people who are being served by you. So you are the fortunate and you are blessed ones that you live in a very good and blessed atmosphere and do seva.
Question: Our sins go to the people that we are serving? Did you say most of our sins go to the people we are serving and that the fruit of their meditation comes to us?
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: Yes.
Question: But not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to be in a position to do seva. What about the householders? We just meditate, is that all?
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: If possible the householder can also do something in running the Ashram. For those who are not living in an Ashram they can do seva in any other way by helping to meet the funds and like that.
Question: But our seva should be directed towards the Holy Cause?
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: Yes. The seva of a Satsangi should never be given to any other except to the Ashram.
Question: Oh, I see. It would he better to do seva to the Ashram than to do seva to someone else.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: Yes. If you will serve the Ashram, you will have done something in the Ashram, then you will serve the people who are coming to the Ashram with what you did for the Ashram. It means you are serving the people through the Ashram.
Question: What if you have a choice between someone on the outside who needs help and the Ashram also needs some work to be done. Which should you do, should you help this old person because he needs help or should you do the Ashram work?
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: You have to choose. You have to see, if you are going to serve or if you are going to help anyone, what he will do with that. If you are going to help with money, then how will he use that money? Will he use it for liquor or like that?
Question: At Sant Bani Ashram we have found out about a lot of old people who need help. Some of them don’t have transportation to go to doctors. Some of them are very lonely, they just need someone to talk to. Some of them need one thing or the other – a little help from outside. And we have gotten together and we have taken some time from our busy schedule to help these people. Is this good to practice?
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: Yes. That seva is good.
Question: They are not initiates or anything like that.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: But they still have Master in them. They still have God in them. This is my personal experience, a personal incident from my life, that there was one dog, he was a pet dog of some man, but once when he was walking he was shot through the back. He dragged himself back to the door of his owner. But the owner, now that the dog was useless, didn’t even care to give him water or any help. So the dog was on the ground and couldn’t walk. After that he was thirsty and hungry and he started crawling in the direction of my house. Somebody told me that there was a dog lying on my doorstep so I went there and found him. I went inside and first got a pan of water and put his head in the water and after four or five minutes the dog was aware that he was in water, and he was thirsty so he drank all the water. I took him into my home and gave him some medicine and some help and took out that bullet and after that I nursed him. In four or five months he was all right but his back was not in a good position. He couldn’t walk. So after that he lived for five years and I kept him in my room. And at that time if I had thought: “he is not initiated” – even “he is not a man” but no, I thought, “God is in him,” and I helped and I did seva only thinking that he was also a creation of God.
Question: Can I ask one question?
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: Yes.
Question: I have developed such poor meditation habits that sometimes I think I need something to really shock me into doing the work. Will that shock ever come? I want it; I want a major change – not just wishy-washy every day and nothing happens.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: Which type of shock?
Question: I don’t know. Sometimes to have good fortune I think is not so good and I think that if I was in not such a good position in life it would be better for my meditation or my realization if I had a strong shock. I don’t know. This is what I am asking. I want Him to take me by the shoulders like this [takes Pappu by the shoulders] and hit me against the wall . . .
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: Don’t ask like that. Pray that Master should never put you to test, because it is very hard to pass the test. You are not obeying Him when He is explaining so lovingly, so when He will give you some pain or some shock then how will you tolerate that?
Question: Yes, but Master has been explaining lovingly and I have been initiated for ten years and I’m still disobeying.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: Master Sawan Singh used to say, “I pray to God that He should not put us to test.” If you were going inside and could see what Satguru can do, you would never ask for that type of shock. You always pray to God, “Oh God, never give us any moment of pain. Now You have initiated me and I have surrendered to You. So now you take my care.” Guru Nanak also said the same thing, that now I have surrendered my own self to You and now it is Your duty to take my care. Pray like that.
It is very difficult to pass the test. If the Guru gives any shock or puts the disciple to the test only one from millions can pass the test.
Question: I think this is true. This is true what He said, because in my own life I was like with no parents and the people who raised me I always felt they did not love me and because of this I used to think, “Well, if no one else cares about my life then I won’t care about it either and I will throw it away.” And then only when I met Master did I see that someone did care about my life. And only since then have I started to care and I think it is a very great blessing that Master cares about my life. He cares much more than I do and I will try to live up to His example.
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: We came down to love, but we have forgotten. It doesn’t matter if anybody is loving you or not, but you have to do your duty – that is to love all. There is no expense, there is no burden in love.
Question: That’s why all men came to the world is to love?
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji: Yes. And only in man-body can we love all. If we are given any other body we don’t have any sense of empathy with others. But only in man-body we can do that. You always have love in your mind and never let your mind be dry – without love.